I heart this. I wish to skip the whole she-bang but I can’t. Emak would kill me. So here I am trying to ‘enjoy’ the researching, planning, decision making, shopping and what’s not. Pray that someone or anything wouldn’t get killed in the process 
For 2010, I want to stop self-sabotage by procastination.
Enough said 
I thought I was over it but I’m not. Honestly, I’m still bitter about it. There, I said it.
I blurted out that I’m still sad/upset about the whole thing. And a colleague said that I do at least gain something from the whole experience. I agree but what I’m trying to say is that, I just can’t forget the whole thing and dismissed it just as another learning experience.
It was truly a learning experience, an eye opener, I would honestly say. But as he keep on pushing the good that come out of the whole thing, I started to feel angry. Fortunately, I didn’t burst out or anything because what’s the point? I told myself silently, let’s just agree to disagree. I don’t think that he could truly understand the disappointment and the frustration I felt after the whole thing.
I know that he has the good intention to make me see that the it was not such a bad thing. There were good things that I’ve gained and experienced.
However, throughout the whole conversation, I got this feeling that somehow, he’s saying that maybe I am not suitable for my job. Because that’s what we do. We experiment.
After lunch, I went over the whole conversation in my head. Maybe I was being immature about the whole thing. Being defensive over things that I should have gotten over with when I should be moving on with my life, professionally and emotionally.
I do know now that it’s difficult to truly understand what people had gone through. Although this particular experience of mine wasn’t truly a life shattering or heart breaking, it does give me some insight on how people would always want to shove their opinions down your throat without fully trying to understand what had happened to you. The unspoken words of what truly happened to them and what they really feel.
Indeed, it is very difficult to be a good listener. To just listen without judging, without bias and most importantly, to listen with empathy.
Sometimes, people just need to be heard. Not to be told what they should or should not feel.
It’s a wonder that things that happen in your life come your way when you least expected it. I think life has an enchanting way to announce it’s lovely surprises for you.
To Jay, I couldn’t be more happier for you. You’ve finally find The One *hurray* I won’t be surprise if the wedding is somewhere near the future
As much as I wanted to know things about people, sometimes I wish I wouldn’t know certain things about said-people.
Me and my why’s *padan muka*
But how to actually say, ” No, I don’t ever want to know your secret. No matter how tiny or big it is!! Shusshh. Go away. I’m blocking my nose ears now…”
Secrets used to be fun, but they had lost their charms in the complicated adult world.
I didn’t reply to this either because Mrs Alexander was doing what is called chatting where people say things to each other which aren’t questions and answers and aren’t connected.
Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time
How does it feel to let it all out? To be irrational and just be?
To blow off your lid, be mad and shout all of the obscene words you knew?
Sigh. Sometimes I wish that I am not always a rational person.
So many things to plan/decide/choose/do, and yet I haven’t done a single thing yet. A classic case of mildly chronic procastinator *smile sheepishly*
I could feel the waves of panic attacks washing over me in the months to come. Breathe, Amal, breathe. Inhale, exhale….
I’m always at loss on what to say to friends who lost someone dear to them.
On joyous occasion, like weddings, it’s just so easy to be smiling happily and congratulating the pengantins.
But death? The loss of loved ones? How do you comfort their loss when you yourself cannot imagine how they must be feeling? Yet, you want to comfort them, to say that it’s gonna be okay when it might not. To say time will heal all things, when you’re not sure when will it be. To say that they will get through this, when you’re not sure you’ll always be by their side to get them through it.
Truly, I’m at loss… Clueless, even.
To dearest F*d. I might not know exactly how or what to do, but just know that I’ll be around whenever you need me *hugs*
Went out with K’s best friends the other day. I was actually nervous to meet them as I had tried my very best to avoid meeting them for so long *blush* What to do? I’m a hopeless romantic social-phobic.
I couldn’t get out of it as he knows now, that in order to get me to commit to something, he needs to ask me in advance and make me swear promise to do it.
They turn out to be nice people. I might need few more meet ups to get warmed up to them as I usually do with strangers. To find some common grounds, or not.
Trivia#1 Almost all his friend are married. Was asked by K to form the wives club. What am I? A socialite? And I’m not even his ‘perempuan halal’ yet *rolling eyes*
Trivia#2 All the wives either just had a baby or stewing one in the oven. Did I hear my pressure cooker whistling like mad?
Trivia#3 Band of Brothers are on Cinemax *woohoo* this trivia is totally unrelated except that I saw a guy wearing a Band of Brothers t-shirt. Hehehe.
All in all, it wasn’t such a disaster. What a relief!! 
